Here's the deal: I am on my way up to my Dad's and usually take the thruway that goes along the river; I love my little 2001 red Cavalier, it is the nicest car I have ever had. My two rubber frogs and red octopus are arranged on the dash, pointing the way. They are my navigators. I have always been enchanted with rubber insects and animals, and was one of the first to own the Creepy Crawler Factory which heated goo in metal molds to produce plastic entomology. My guys were lined up, my outlook was optimistic.

To get to the entrance ramp, you take a street that runs under the raised highway, a driveway from a chi-chi hotel opens to the street on the east. Just as I pass, a travel bus barrels down the drive way to a rolling stop and turns onto the street behind me. I am in front of this bus on the two way street, which ends at a wide, one-way cross street. There are arrows at the end of the road I am on indicating Only a Left Turn, with a widening to enable two vehicles to turn at once. Arrows. Lanes. the way is clear of traffic and I make the turn, getting as far over into the far right lane on the cross street as I can. The driver in the bus behind me is in a hurry, and I want to give him room. Bam.

My car is hit by the behemoth in the rear quarter panel on the driver's side as the bus is propelled out by centrifugal force due to making the turn too quickly. I was jounced, and pulled over to the curb. The bus stopped behind me. Exits a large young man in a black leather vest studded with pins from various associations, shaved head, arms and legs mapped with many pictures of women in blue ink, tribal pieces, and a pair of red lips on the side of his neck. If I were younger, I would probably have as many tattoos as he, nothing like body art in my opinion, I was in my forties when I got my first one. Maybe that's a good thing. He's yelling, "I DON'T NEED THIS!! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!!"

Well, I have to say I was shaken. No tears, but cripes, I was almost road paste. I have been t-boned previously by an old guy in a hurry to get lunch, and also have bounced off the rear wheel of a semi buckled across the highway in a snowstorm thick as mayonnaise. I am lucky to be here, yesterday and today. The indent in my panel isn't rubbing against the wheel, so that's good.

"If I give you three hundred dollars, can we call it a day? I don't have time for this, that's not going to cost you more than one fifty, you can take yourself out to dinner with the rest. Look, here is my name, here is all the information you need, if this costs you more just contact me," and he hands me his license. Leonard.

I take down the information, he stops and asks if I was all right and please not to call the police. "I have some convictions, but you can ask anyone, I pulled three people out of an accident, I saved those guys lives. Where did you come from? I didn't even see you!"

"I was in front of you, there's two lanes for turning onto this one way street, you swung into me," my voice is very soft. Wish I had chutzpah in personal emergencies.

"Oh no you weren't, you know I'm being a good guy here, if the police came, you know what they'd say...hey you want to give me back the money and..."

"I haven't taken your money, and I sure can call the police. Here's my information."

"NO NO no!!! Here," and he peels off three hundreds from a wad of bills. I feel bad taking the money, but I make myself stuff it into my purse. He wants to shake hands. He cannily presses his lips to the back of my proffered hand, and asks if I am sure I am feeling all right. This guy wants to leave quickly, doesn't want any of my information, he has convictions, but he takes the time to tell me how police found a weapon on the bus and it took six months to get that straightened out. He lost his home, his girlfriend, his job, so what am I upset about?" Lenny is working it just like my school kids do, turning the problem around so it's my fault.

Me: "Get back in your seat and get to work."
Student: "But you ain't give me a chance to sharpen my pencil!!"
"But I gotta throw this out. You told me to, (an hour ago)!!"
"But I gotta get my homework!! You ain't give me a chance to
get it!!"

I don't want to talk to Lenny any more. Really, my sense is that he is a good person with raggedy edges and is not hurting anymore than the rest of us, for he looks well fed. Besides, I know what decent tatts cost, and he has plenty. I want to get away.

"So what do we do?" he asks. I think he is having second thoughts about the three hundred, it wouldn't take much convincing me to give it back to him.

I don't have an ending for Lenny, so I toss a platitude out, "Get on with the day," or "Keep your chin up'" or some such asinine blather. I want out. Now.

He throws up his hands and goes back to the bus, waiting for me to pull away first.
I drive into a lot to check damage, and pull the octopus out of the crevice he has wedged himself into; the car will be okay, but later the weeds in Dad's backyard catch hell from me as I rip and chop them into bus driver salad. Three hundred isn't going to cover this dent, this guy got off cheap, blah police blah. It is satisfying and I fill the garbage tote with little green sacrifices named Lenny.

I must be aware that this adventure may turn up later in as an attack of the vapors or a Consolation Pizza, depending on what the mechanics say. Or maybe I'll take the money and buy an air conditioner for me and the cats. Dunno. Sigh. Love to all.