Fuzzy-Wuzzies

Having received many an email that litanies happy stuff that "makes you smile," I have composed my own list of personally relevant tidbits of warm fuzzies.

I hope it makes you smile when...
1. The cat throws up on the linoleum instead of the carpeting.
2. Children jerk in their seats when you enter a classroom.
3. You find enough change in the couch cushions for doing laundry.
4. Maybe you found some potato chips down there, too.
5. The cauliflower you bought has become a puddle in the fridge and you are happy because now you
         don't have to cook it.
6. You are too old to care about shaving your legs before wearing shorts.
7. You found something you thought had been thrown away, and you then save it for another three years
         until you think you threw it away again.
8. You remember the time that you peed your pants in the cafeteria from laughing hard your senior year
         in high school, and realize that when they say, "You'll laugh about this someday," they are lying.
         You were wearing a brown corduroy skirt at the time.  The school nurse sends you home, but your
         mother makes you go back after you change.
9. You retain your integrity by not sleeping with the car mechanic who speaks little English but asks you
         if you are dating anyone even though you briefly think it might reduce your bill.
10. You get a midnight phone call that is a wrong number.  Anyone you know calling at that time can
         only have bad news or needs a ride home.
11. The homemade cookies make it through the mail, but are so mooshed they have become a new
         substance even the dog won't touch.
12. You have to hold the hand of a child so they don't hurt anyone or run out of the building.
13. You watch the expression on someone's face when they absolutely hate your gift but are struggling
          to say something nice about it. Their jaw moves for a good five seconds before any sound comes
          out.  Ten, if the gift is a set of plastic monkey patio lights.
14. You laugh for absolutely no reason and realize that means you took your meds that morning.
15. You have plenty of Purell in your purse.

Keep sending them, folks.  They do make me smile.  Goodnight.