Do We Need Newer Gender Pronouns?

During a gender course in college, the one page survey that the class took revealed that I have more manly traits than feminine, not including hair growing in unwanted, unwanted I tell you, places. I was three over the halfway point of foo-foo lace and Barbies, which didn't upset me, but clarified some reasons for certain differences. I should look that paper up, and see if I feel that it still applies.

Case in point: I have never enjoyed playing with dolls, my poor mother tried with a Tiny Tears creation that leaked water out of it's eyes when fed from a bottle. There was also a hole in one butt cheek for urination, why was it so iffy not to put the plastic tubing where a urethra really is, unless that would take America too close to vagina territory? So why have the doll pee to begin with? My doll never had clothing on and was usually under the ton of other stuff I had, like the Zorro outfit Dad got me. My next door cousin loved hers, dressed it, carried it, cooed at it. Mine was fed to the invading wolves or given a toadstool bath.

I kept pet frogs, a red-bellied snake that ate grasshoppers and worms, and dragged home any object that was once part of an animal. Feathers, shed snake skin, woodchuck skulls, rabbit fur, cocoons; my dog brought home a deer leg one fall that I took to school for show and tell. We were way out in the country, no sewer, no garbage pickup, some farmhouses still had no electricity. A deer leg was news, stunk to the high, and maybe three kids brought them in that year. The teacher was gracious for a bit until she said No More Deer Parts. Me and the boys were incensed, the girls were relieved; we went back to large bugs in jars as our Introducing Animals to You Gross Out the Skweemy Kids program.

But to get back to the language of gender, I don't know how we got this far without words describing gender mixes that aren't connived as vulgar. He, she, it. Tranny, dyke, faggot. People make choices on how they want to live based on their inner gut in the best of circumstances, thank goodness society is slowly becoming aware of the false dichotomy of only two sexes. We need new pronouns, or do we not? Would that be trespassing on private matters? Does it confuse medical issues? Should it be regulated only to hermaphrodites or used as a matter of choice? I remember the derision and hoop-dee-do surrounding the introduction of the label "Ms."

If you used "Ms." in front of your name, you might as well smoke those little crooked Italian cigars. Now it's closer to a sign of independence, and there is much less notice or knowingly raised eyebrows when introduced as such. I use it all the time as it was a tough row to hoe becoming single again, and usage seems a source of pride for me.

I like the terms "heshe" or "shehe". Herm and hish? Or should it be something else isolated from the he and she terminology, for instance, "la" or "le"? Are there words in other cultures to define this notion? Let me know if there are, this world is ever growing, nothing ever stays the same. What do you think of this issue, o hipster reader?

Right now, the sun is rising to zenith, I had to get up early to let Sal the plumber in who asked, "Can this wait till Monday?" Sure can, the drip is contained, the drain is holding, I want to go grocery shopping. Sal is a good guy, almost wide as tall, he can come in with his partner that morning. I swear I am sleeping in Sunday. Crows are calling, and a cool summer breeze is lapping over the sill like wavelets. I received a card that said "I miss you more than my taut, sixteen year old ass," in the mail from the adored Scottie, the excellent photographer whose work appears above. Gosh, it's a great day.