Fishy Fishy

Lean over the tank and call "Fishy fishy" and the plecostomus will come up looking for food and let you pet him. He began as a tiny mite of a fish, maybe two inches, a baby, really, and did his job of keeping the algae in the tank from taking over. The patterns on his armor are beautiful, all wavy and grey camouflage over the geometric plates he wears instead of scales. I bought algae tablets for him after he cleaned the place up, and fed him nightly. He began to grow, for the tablets are from Japan, and the Japanese people love their pet fish.

I studied up on his species, and found that they eat fruits and vegetables, so okay, let's get some variety in the diet for him. He lived in a twenty gallon tank at the time, with a group of platies that kept multiplying. I had first set up a tank primarily because this apartment gets very dry in the winter and the orchids could use the humidity as well as my sinuses. Also, I figured it would be like cat t.v., they could watch the fish channel all day. When his diet improved, his growth rate took off to a whopping seven inches.

He got to try lettuces and zucchini, cantaloupe, watermelon, and his favorite of honeydew. I felt bad that the tank was so small for him, and so upgraded to a fifty-two gallon aquarium over a year ago. The change suited him, he now glides over the bottom like a finned, omega-eyed Cadillac. He looks ferocious, especially since he grew seven more inches in this larger environment.

I think he's as big as he's gonna get, which is good, for in his older age his dignity has transmuted into irritability. If he gets watermelon instead of the desired honeydew, he thrashes and beats it up, sending the platies into whirlpools created by his hissy fits. If the fruit isn't ripe enough, it gets trounced before he settles in. Only the most liquid sweetness pleases him into latching onto the piece immediately, so I am at the markets, shaking and thumping melons to determine ripeness in order to satisfy this animal. And have you checked the price of melons lately? Yikes.

Also, he has taken to jumping. Fortunately, I make sure the lid is on to keep fish in and cats out, and his last leap cost him a skinned nose on the closed top. Now I keep rocks on top of the hinged doors in the tank lid to forgo any flights of fancy, for it wouldn't surprise me if the cats brought him to me some night when the moon was out and he had landed on the floor from a nocturnal leap. They bring me all sorts of nonsense in the night, a pissed off fish would be at the top of their list for the entertainment value.

Sleep well. Check your pillows.