Fair Days

Ah! The noise! Ah! The smell! Ah! The people! Yesterday we went to the fair and stayed till eleven at night, past my bedtime. I am whupped, mostly from all the very attractive and personable junk food I ate. Fair food is so friendly and overpriced, the traveling fryer booths on wheels so brightly colored and worded, so that the simplest human with a wallet is pried from their monies.

Seven dollars for a plate of the lovely butterfly potatoes, cut like a spiral string of chips and deep fried; no, no, I didn't indulge, for seven dollars is dear for what amounts to be two potatoes. Did I mention that I may not have a job, won't know until September 1st? As delightful it is to swash a doodle of ketchup over the mountainous heap of frydom's best, I resisted. Still thinking about them, though.

Instead, I went to the 4-H booth that was selling hot dogs for a buck each. Had brought my own drink in the Wonderful Cavernous Purse, sat and ate two dogs. The crew I go with aren't the visit the animal barn types, but prefer to get happy with the craft area and jewelry stands. Me, I would like to see the animals and the canned in glass jars green beans and the other home economic stuff, but I am just as happy trotting around anywhere. The whole fair is the scene, chickie-chicks.

We all are interested in the food offered, all shocked at the prices, all happy to complain about money. After we ate, we grazed, starting with something called "Doughnut Nuggets", pillows of hot fried dough blanketed with powdered sugar. After that, I ate a sugar waffle, also coated with powdered sugar. We had vanilla cones, buttered spuds, and a fried onion blossom, all surrounded by pillars of colored light bulbs illuminating outlines of the Ferris wheel, the Scrambler, the pirate ship thing that swings back and forth. Dazzling, even more so when you are dazed with sugar and enough saturated fat to fuel the space shuttle.

For a Special Today Only Fifty Cents, you could view the Giant Rat (a capybara), the Smallest Horse, the Giant Snake, the Smallest Woman, and Snake Girl who miraculous survived birth to grow into a boa with the head of a Beautiful Girl. On the outside of Snake Girl's trailer was a tiny little sign that said "Illusion." Well, thank heavens.

I got home late, with the idea of rising early to get to a bone density appointment at 8:30 a.m. When the morning alarm came on, I hit snooze. I did that three times, until reality pushed me up to a sitting position and I rolled out to get ready, still thickheaded from the quart of fat and sugar in me, and also, I ached from trotting about, back and forth, up and down.

I walked slower than usual to the car, plopped in, got on the road and made it only five minutes late. Really, I need to realize that trip takes forty minutes, not a half hour. Triumphantly, I pull into the medical complex lot, and with head up, enter the reception area. "Your appointment's tomorrow," said the bright eyed young woman. What?

You know you've done this, and have experienced the colossal waste of time frittered away due to enthusiastic showing up a day earlyism. Ah, don't worry, it all works out well. Go ahead with the day, a cup of tea will put you to rights.