Numbing

This morning I told the dentist to give me everything he had to numb me up before the filling. He went through two syringes of mepivacaine and my crocs still hit the ceiling when he hit the inner tooth. The procedure was over very quickly, but for the rest of this day I have been dragging the right side of my drooly face along the floor as I walk. Just now, I can get all the noodles/tea/milk in my mouth without it leaking out the other side.

Next to my dentist is a jewelry shop owned by the nicest people, the Korona's. It was the plan to get new batteries for my Audubon chirping bird wristwatch, and to sell the handful of whatever jewelry they would accept. All he was interested in was gold. I had a few small opals that had been my mom's, a tanzanite ring set in sterling, an immense catastrophe my friend had bought from QVC, and my wedding ring.

He gave me $50 for some teensy gold earrings, $100 for the wedding ring, and $100 for the gaudy ring from QVC. I was happy, yes, there was a small twinge from parting with the wedding ring, but just like my uterus, I won't miss it. Women, if you ever go through a hysterectomy, you may experience a temporary sentiment, but after the following months of no period, nada, no spots, dots, or pink sneezes, you will click your heels and dance across the ceiling like Fred Astaire. Those cheerleaders on the tampon commercials will have nothing on you as you cartwheel down the block in your mid-fifties or whenever it happens, if it does. After having periods, you won't miss the Ute. No vomiting, no excruciating crushing pains in your legs, no vast wastelands of mood swings. Whee!

But back to the jewelry story; and this is it, and I know you have better sense. Do not buy jewelry from QVC. In my opinion, do not buy any of their crap. My friend has an addiction to them, and ends up with boxes of stuff that she doesn't know what it is by the time it gets there. She had purchased a ring of so-called chocolate diamonds for over $1,000. A ring. From a television channel. Deciding that she didn't like it, she sent it to me for a Christmas gift, god love her. I looked up the item on their website, and the blather accompanying the sell used words like "independent woman" "you'll be noticed as you walk into the room" it would make your teeth shine and men be baffled by your power if you believed the blarney.

First off, everything they sell is made in China; next, the chocolate diamonds were indeed diamonds, but are more commonly known as "brown" diamonds--chocolate diamonds have a milky appearance to them--these were close to worthless. The lump of "Sleeping Beauty Turquoise" in the center was valueless. The saving grace was that the base was made of 14K gold, the doodads on top were a double heaping spoonful of what these creeps were selling.

And they sell tons of it to people, mostly women, who are looking for that one item to make them feel happy and in charge. Acquisition means prestige means self-worth for my friend who is an intelligent woman, but not in a good place right now. I asked if QVC would put a block on her name so she couldn't buy any more, but no. She just has to have the will to stay away from the channel. If she is overmedicated with pain-management drugs and is without her memory, she often doesn't realize she's been "shopping".

What that godawful ring did was get me another month for a September car payment, and that's good enough. I am sorry that I didn't like it, I feel badly for selling a gift, it was her money to begin with, but my rationalization is that over the years, I have bailed her out from many bad choices. That is sort of an apology for taking advantage of someone's lousy luck, but I had asked her if she wanted the ring back, and she told me to sell it. The other things I sometimes receive from QVC go right back into the mail, back to the company to credit her account. I had to tell her she was pissing me off by buying me stuff. This is my wild friend who did many dangerous things over the years, thank goodness she is still here.

It's only dinnertime, the sun is still up. I will slowly shovel food into my loopy mouth a bit later, not hungry right now. I want to think. There is a cat on my lap and the air coming in through the window is cool and fresh. You have a pleasant evening, the wings of angels take you to your dreams.