Grace and Beauty

If we didn't have sweat glands, we'd pant like dogs. The inside of our car windows on the driver's side would be a mess. We'd get yelled at for drooling on the linoleum. We'd laugh when the yeller cracked a tibula after sliding across the kitchen on it. Arf arf arf. Sweating has its blessings, but I am ready to jump out of this sticky skin from all the debris it attracts.

Invisible dust motes layer themselves and it feels like I am wearing a coat. Furthermore, anytime I lean, I stick to that surface and have to carefully peel myself off backwards; if I am lucky, the red welts defining a peel are usually in obscure areas and not too large, unlike pillow welts. Nothing like getting up to go to work and having a road map imprinted on half of your face.

You know, I think I will go defrost the freezer. There is a thick blanket of permafrost encasing a bag of peas and some other stuff, maybe a baby mammoth that you could have and then make an Ice Age Surprise casserole. You'll be the talk of the town, wouldn't that be sweet? And I could fit the ice cube trays back in and wouldn't have to drive really fast to get home before the bag of ice I bought at the store melts.

Really, the oddest thing in my freezer right now is a bag of lima beans. Mmmm. I do enjoy those. Ask me what the strangest thing ever was, and I would have to say the bunch of nine garter snakes an amateur herpetologist gave me along with a dead gecko. I was all ready to draw them, but after they thawed out, they were kind of floppy and melty. Sadly, they had to go in the big garbage can in the trash room in an unmarked unidentifiable plastic stinky bag. Don't tell me you'd like a sketch of melted garter snakes, it's too late now.

I think it goes back to childhood, when I'd bring home bits of animals found in the fields. You could do more with them when they were dead than alive. I avoided whole mammals, as they were juicier than scientific investigation merited. My mother had found a dead grey squirrel when she was a child, and brought it home and dressed it in doll clothing, until my grandparents found out where the smell was coming from. Pushed it around in a baby carriage. They were poor, but I think part of the fascination was from the idea of a little squirrel face looking out from a bonnet. Maybe that reasoning is how she got married to my father.

No clouds have yet appeared in the east for the predicted thunderstorm. I always sleep better in a storm, and it usually cools down the air. Can't wait. Sleep well.